Tuesday, December 17, 2013


Dear baby boy,

Today was another round of blood work and doctors to see and tests to be ran. All our paperwork has expired again and Mama drove from here to there dotting i's and crossing t's and worrying. Worrying things wouldn't be done fast enough. Worrying about it all. Your brothers were grumpy and I was so tired. I'm tired of the waiting. I'm tired of the unknowns. I'm tired of not speaking your name out loud.

But this I know.

You, my son, are worth it. All of it. All the forms and phone calls. All the days wondering. The tears, the worrying.
You're worth it all.

And even though you may not believe me, or may think it's impossible, all of me loves all of you. Every breath, every giggle with your brothers I'm missing you and waiting to hold you. I can't wait to meet you my sweet little man.

Love and hugs and cuddles.