Tuesday, February 26, 2013


Dear Baby,

We got an email about you on February 21 and the second I opened the email I bust into tears.
We were sitting at the kitchen table, Finn and I, eating lunch, the porch door opened, the breeze and almost-feels-like summer sun blowing in.  

And just like that my morning stopped and my heart was captivated by the words.

I know, I know,  I'm pregnant and hormonal, but considering it was a beautiful day and Finley and me had been adventuring all morning it was a bit out of the ordinary and unexpected for me to just start crying like that. I wondered if it was a sign that this email was more important then all the other emails I'd been sent.

Finn asked me what was wrong and I told him it was about two babies, and he told me "it's okay mama" He was worried and concerned and not quite sure why I was upset about two babies when that's what we'd been planning on all along.

Your dad was at work, so I  sent him the email and waited for what he thought.

When he'd read it he told me it made him want to cry too. And mama was pretty certain that was a sign that this baby was the baby for us. But of course I asked your dad what he thought and if we should asked to be presented to your birth mom, and he said yes. 
So Mama emailed our consultant and told her to present us.
I told a few people
... and we waited for the next few days.
But in the in between I wasn't anxious or nervous. I kinda knew in my heart that you were ours.

Today at 11:56am my phone registered a number I hadn't had saved and the second I saw it I knew it was our consultant.
When I heard her voice my heart dropped. She was calling to tell us we were matched I was positive of it.
I tried to memorize how I was feeling so I could write it down but I was too anxious for her words.
 "I was just calling to tell you your about to be matched" she confirmed, and of course, I burst into tears.

We are getting paperwork tomorrow to fill out, but for now, finally, you are no longer a complete mystery to me my son. There is a bit of you I know and that makes me over the moon.

You are a baby boy, and your birthday will be sometime in June. 
My heart can hardly take it. 
I will have three boys by July.

We will be a family of boys, a family of five, and mama wouldn't have it any other way.

I love you to the moon and back and can't wait to hold you tight and give you so many snuggles.

Hugs and love. 


Friday, February 1, 2013


Dear wee one,
Yesterday we finally got our 100% completed and updated home study.
January 31, 2013.
Mama couldn't of been more excited, and even though I was almost positive it was our update,
I still had to open it up before we ran our errands to make sure.
We're ready for you!
After over a year of planning for you and thinking of you and wishing for you,
our paperwork finally matches our hearts.
When you're ready to make you appearance,
we'll be waiting, arms wide open.
I love you to the moon and back little one.
Always and forever.